Post-Production... and the viewers' response... gulp.

Due to some rather major health problems, I unfortunately missed out on a large chunk of the actual editing process.

However, I stayed in regular contact with the rest of the group to stay updated on exactly what was going on.

When I did manage to get to university, I watched the edited cut... and I have to say, I was blown away by Annabel's incredible editing skills. Yes, a lot had been cut out, but the time limit was eight minutes, so this was necessary. Her comic timing was absolutely spot on, making comments that were not even funny at the time absolutely hysterical through their positioning next to other clips, and the timing of cuts.

All it needed now was music, so I went home, turfed out all of my piano books, and settled down for a day of recording.

I had learnt a great deal from out last musical recording attempt (and the frightening 'Mr D'), and for Christmas had received a Tascam music recorder:

I used this to do my recording, rather than complicate matters by involving too many other people. The recorder gives immensely clear recordings that sound as professional as you can get with minimal editing needs.

I recorded an uncomfortable sounding jazz piece (we were looking for a pretentious sounding piece of music to go with the pretentious looking film noir scene at the beginning), and a couple of Mozart pieces to go over the Victorian parlour room scene and the end credits.

The music went down very well with the rest of the group, and sounded much clearer than I had thought during the recordings!

It simplified the whole process by using music that we could record ourselves, as we were not faced with copyright issues. We could use whatever music we felt was appropriate to us, without feeling limited to copyright-free websites where we may never find what we're looking for.

So....

The day of the 'grand premiere' came round very quickly - our tutor, Mike, had hired out the main auditorium of the Little Theatre, Bath, and all the films were screened.

Luckily, I was feeling just about healthy enough to make it to the event, and WHAT an event it was!

Dans L'esprit: The Vision (the title we decided on for our lovely little film) was received to booming laughter, rapturous applause, and the cherry on the cake was when we won a bottle of champagne for achieving second place on the viewers' vote - whatever grade we may get for it, this is enough of a reward for me! Having your final piece, that you have worked very very hard on, being laughed at so loudly (for the RIGHT reasons....!) is probably one of the most exhilarating experiences ever.

So, for your enjoyment, here it is.

Dans L'esprit: The Vision

Thank you for reading.

Over and out!

THE SHOOT....

There were a number of hiccups on the first morning of the shoot which made beginning a little strenuous. When we went to pick up the equipment, there was nobody there to issue it to us within the designated time.... This delayed us by an hour in starting the filming, and also meant our cast were waiting for us outside the location in the rain.... This was really quite worrying as we were already working to a very tight schedule!

When we finally got to our location and set up, we realised we had a broken cable. We couldn't film without it, so I got back in the car and drove all the way back to the university. It was rush hour at the time, as well as there being major roadworks along the way, so it was a two hour round trip. By the time I got back, everybody was frantic, and there wasn't a lot we could get done in the remaining time, so we agreed to meet earlier the following day to try and get as much filming done as we could.

Despite the extreme stress at the beginning, somehow we did manage to get everything shot.

We had enormous fun with our cast, improvising scenes around costumes and props, and a certain watermelon crept into most of the scenes.... I personally think the greatest success was the development of the writer character - who we created from scratch. He was not present in the original script. We loved the irony of 'sabotaging' a script already written by a poor frustrated writer - by including the character of a poor frustrated writer whose work had been sabotaged.

Here is another frustrated writer, who, like our 'Owen', becomes rather psychotic:

We sincerely hope that the original (and fabulous) writer of our script does not succumb to a similar fate.

We attempted another tracking shot, using the same beloved skateboard that created the tracking shots in Booty Call. Oh, the memories. We had learnt from out mistakes though, and set up the scene much faster and in accordance to the camera position.

As producer, I spent most of the shoot driving madly around Bath, ferrying around cast and crew, buying emergency props, going to and from the supermarket and chippie to feed the ravenous crew, making vast amounts of tea and coffee, doing a lot of setting up and clearing up of rooms before and after using them for scenes, calling people for scenes, figuring out logistical problems, and generally boosting group morale in times of enormous - ENORMOUS - stress.

As well as this, I spent a lot of time liaising with the owners of the property, and somehow also managed to find the time to act as an extra in a few of the scenes.

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole filming process, and even the stressful bits were extremely worthwhile and satisfying. There were some fantastic happy mistakes caught through improvisation that excite us a lot....

I think I can safely say that the whole group is very much looking forward to the edit.

Pre-Production

We realised that the best way to go about our meetings would be to go to a mutual venue, near to where we all lived so that we could get there easily, somewhere where we were nice and comfortable where we could bounce ideas off each other and would be able to make enough noise conversing.

The obvious choice was Matty's Cafe on the Lower Bristol Road.

I find it impossible to focus in a meeting, and let my imagination run wild, without the aid of a good greasy fry-up.

Here, we discussed re-writes, locations, props, cast, and everything else that we needed to sort before the actual filming (over the course of two or three fry-ups on various days, may I point out...).

We decided that Josh would maintain his role of cameraman, Adam would be the stage-manager, Katy would direct, Annabel would edit, and I would be the producer. We felt these were the most practical roles for each of us, as we stayed within our own areas of 'expertise'.

I was particularly glad to be producer, as having lived in Bath my whole life, I am more clued up as to locations that may remain unknown to other students, and I know a lot of people in the area, so finding people who might own certain props would be easier.

We carried out auditions, and after a small dispute, agreed on our cast. Katy and I agreed from the start, whereas the boys seemed to have a slightly different vision. However, as director, Katy made the final decision, and I have to say that I am absolutely totally chuffed with our cast - I think everybody is perfect for their role, and those who are struggling a little more than others to 'become' their character will certainly get there with a little encouragement.

I have also liaised with an aunt and uncle of mine who own a stunning mansion on the outskirts of Bath which serves as an absolutely perfect location for the entire film. They agreed that we could use the property for the designated weekend. This means that we can shoot the entire thing in the same place, which solves the transport issues we had last time when we were trying to move from one area of Bath to another for all the different locations. We have also ensured that some of our cast members can drive, so that all of the cast and crew can get there in one journey. It is also on a major bus route - so if anyone can't drive and needs to arrive at a different time to the rest of the crew, they can get there easily.

Just to top it all off, the house is just down the road from our favourite film-group chippie.

This is a picture of the view from the house (for privacy reasons, the owners were uncomfortable with the idea of a photograph of the whole house appearing on the internet...):

I also spent a lot of time perusing the Bath shops, looking for props, gathering them from home, and asking friends and family what weird and wonderful objects they possessed. I also collated a lot of costumes.

We briefly toyed with the idea of using a sheep in the film. I have a friend who has a pet - yes a pet - sheep. She takes it for walks on a lead and everything. We thought it would be a nice addition to the film, to use animals.

We decided eventually against using the sheep for practicality purposes - we would not be able to transport the sheep to the location without a huge amount of logistical planning, and we wouldn't be able to fit into the schedule a trip to visit and film the sheep.

Shaun. Oh, sorry, I mean shame. (Terrible, isn't it?!)

We also set up a Facebook group, which served as a place where we could put all of our ideas, pictures, videos and so forth - just another means of communication between the five of us to make our life a little easier in the run-up to the shoot.

Change of Plan...

After a detailed meeting, we decided to scrap all of our previous plans concerning 'Treament', as we only had a couple of weeks until filming and it would take too much time to rewrite the entire script into a format where it would be entertaining...

We decided to go with an alternative script called 'The Industry' which is a parody of the 'behind-the-scenes' documentaries that always seem to appear in the 'Extras' sections of films on DVDs.

Done in a style that flits between a talking-heads format and a naturalistic shaky-cam format, it provided a lot more scope for a more feasible project. We realised that it would have to be re-written in a style where improvisation from the cast could easily be incorporated - we realised the humour would only work effectively if it was done in a totally naturalistic style, where the audience would totally believe that what they were seeing really happened. It would be in the style of 'The Office' with Ricky Gervais, with similar camera movement, and a script and acting that would be hilarious in an ironic way, where the audience would be able to relate to real-life people and situations and find it funny through their own comparisons to reality.

Here is a clip from 'The Office', to demonstrate the style we will be using:

The clip includes talking-heads scenes - where the documentary maker interviews the 'characters', as well as broader scenes showing the location. This is just an example of how we envisage the overall style of the piece we are going to make.

This is a clip from 'This is Spinal Tap' - a film which also uses a similar style:

And again, another clip from a more recent film called 'Confetti' which again uses the same improvised, naturalistic style:

Although I was feeling massively fired-up about creating 'Treatment', I feel that this opens up so many new doors to us, and that we can make this into a really really funny film.

Choosing a script to make into a film...

I am ecstatic to say that we have a new member in our group! This new member is Katy, who is the very first friend that I met at Bath Spa University, and I know her to be an awesome and imaginative person, so the fact that she has joined the team fills me with joy!

We spent a good few days looking through all the scripts written by the people on our module in order to choose one to make into our next incredible masterpiece.

We eventually settled on a script called 'Treatment' involving a man who forgets to take his medication and goes insane. We knew it would involve a large amount of editing and re-writing, as some parts, such as the references to Schizophrenia, we thought were unsuitable for a short film intended to be a comedy.

We were also unimpressed by the original ending, so there was an extended discussion about the possibility of including a large chorus number for a humorous and unexpected ending. With two musical members of the group - myself and Josh - this seemed like a highly feasible option. As it was a black comedy, the obvious influence was the infamous and controversial ending to 'The Life of Brian' - one of the Monty Python masterpieces. For those of you poor unfortunate people who have never seen it, here is Always Look on the Bright Side of Life:

I already have a huge amount of musical and visual ideas floating around in my head....

I know from previous composing experience that it is best to work with a partner, to bounce ideas off each other, in particular if one is more experienced in a particular area (I know more about piano and classical vocal composition - Josh knows more about electric music and more popular stuff, so a combination of our 'talents' should be a new and interesting musical endeavour!).

I am already getting fired up about this project....

Finishing the (dun dun DUN)... SCRIPT.

After workshopping my first draft of the script amongst our little group, and receiving feedback from my tutor, I realised that I had a fair bit of work to do on 'The House'. It was generally agreed that I had a good idea, but that it needed a little extra 'something' to make it perfect.

It was agreed that a little more work on the opening shots would make it better - with more emphasis on the house itself with a little scary background music... and perhaps a couple of gravestones in the garden covered in leaves to raise questions as to what happened to the previous tenants...

This got me thinking about how the film would look visually. And the house from Channel 4 sitcom 'Spaced' was, subconsciously, the house I had in mind when writing the script. This is the house in question:

The type of ironic comedy used in 'Spaced', with its cross referencing is similar to the comedy I envisage in my own script. For example, the cliched scary music that accompanies the shot of the house is similar to how I imagine the house in my script being portrayed.

I was also advised to make a bigger character of Mr Green, the landlord. I added a few scenes, inbetween the scenes of the two girls, with Mr Green walking up and down the garden path, looking increasingly fearful at the house. I think this character makes the eerie humour all the more effective.

The re-write was received well... and I am very happy to say that one of the other groups has chosen it to make into a film!

I am incredibly excited about seeing what they do with it - it's fascinating as a script-writer to send your work out there, with a very specific image in your head, and see whether other people have the same image when they read and translate it into the medium of film.

Writing a (dun dun DUN)... SCRIPT.

The time had come.

We had made our first blockbuster movie, and now, it was time to move on to new things.

Writing our own scripts.

Task number one was coming up with ideas.

As a creative writing student, I have been taught many methods of coming up with ideas, from people-watching to writing down dreams, and luckily I was brimming with ideas. I do NOT believe in writer's block - there is ALWAYS a way to come up with ideas. It just so happened that I had one idea in particular that had been brimming under the surface of my skull for a number of months.

I had been wondering for a while how to get this idea on paper. It did not work as a short story. It certainly didn't work as a novel. It didn't work as a play, or as a poem. And as I was set with the task of writing a script for a short film, I realised that this was the perfect medium to write this piece.

The idea in question was about a student house that was attempting to kill its inhabitants. It was totally based on my experiences of student housing in Manchester, where my house did indeed try to kill me. If you know anything about Moss Side, you might understand some of the trials I faced.

Here is the area in question:

View Larger Map

The script was also influenced by a little film that I included in one of my earlier posts entitled 'The Furniture'. Here is a different version of the same film (just for the sake of variation... us internet entertainers must keep our audiences riveted):

I wrote a list of all the little things that had happened in Manchester. The script was entirely based on real-life events (apart from the end of the script where the house actually collapses).

It was a tricky process writing in a new format - there are so many rules and guidelines for writing for film, but I think I managed it as best as I could.

We shall see when the mark from the first draft comes back...!

My Wonderful Team

I could not have asked for a more wonderful team to have worked with on this project. We all got on swimmingly, other than the one time we had to lock Josh in the bathroom. Out of necessity.

There were a few issues in the whole process that did not go swimmingly, unfortunately.

One unforeseen issue that certainly was swimming was the weather. However, we quickly adapted our script on the spot to work with the rain, and have learnt that for future endeavours, our scripts should be adaptable to whatever weather the skies might decide to throw at us. Fortunately, the rain only added to the romance of skipping through the park with the boots.

Transport was also an issue. With only one driver in the group - yours truly - getting from location to location, then from location to chip-shop to location was a slight issue. We have figured out that for our next project, we will either ensure we have enough drivers in the group so that everyone can be ferried to and from locations in one journey, rather than waste valuable scheduled time making journey after journey. Either that, or make sure the location is near a main bus route. And, more importantly, near a good chippie.

A highly important issue is continuity. This is something that we did not even realise was an issue until we got round to the edit. Some scenes were extremely tricky to edit, due to the fact that arms or hair were positioned differently in two shots that needed to be put together. Thanks to the remarkable skills of Annabel, we managed to get through this due to her clever and canny editing imagination. However, we know for the next film, to keep a very focused eye on exactly - EXACTLY - what is happening in each and every shot, and how everything needs to be placed for continuity to work.

We were enormously proud of our finished product. According to Youtube statistics, it is now not only popular in the UK, but also highly popular in the USA and... Saudi Arabia.

The world awaits the next masterpiece from Team BAM.

Editing

We threw ourselves whole-heartedly into the gatehouse editing suite, and there we threw ourselves whole-heartedly into editing.

Logging and capturing an entire feature film is not a task I envy of feature film makers, as our footage took a good week to log and capture.

Tensions ran high on occassions, but this was usually solved by a little tea related trip to the Union or a head massage.

Final Cut Pro, although tricky to master at first, quickly became second nature to Annabel who worked like a trooper making sure the whole film was fluid and as stunning as it could be.

We even missed the university's winter ball in our dedication to perfecting Booty Call.

The soundtrack proved to be incredibly awkward as well. We were led on a wild goose chase by various members of the music department's administrative team, and in the end we bit the bullet and gatecrashed the main auditorium in the hope of not being discovered for as long as it would take to record the concerto movement.

Alas, we were discovered, by a man who I shall simply refer to as Mr D. Now, Mr D appeared at first to be extremely helpful by finding us some state of the art recording equipment. He did, however, snap at me at a later point, and I am ashamed to say that I was a big girl about it and cried a little bit. It was nearing the end of a long and tiring process, and, frankly, I wanted my bed. We managed to get the piece recorded, although being in Mozzilla mode I was very unhappy with the result, and it was only after a LOT of reassurance from Annabel that I was just being a perfectionist, did I eventually resign myself to the reality that the recording we had was the one we would have to use.

I borrowed a miniature copy of the score for the Emperor Concerto from the library, and pulled an all-nighter (fuelled by tea and chocolate) where I entered the entire orchestral part into GarageBand, alongside the piano recording, instrument by instrument.

I was very nervous about showing it to the rest of the group the following day, but we played it alongside the edited footage of Booty Call, and by some miracle, the music fitted the images almost perfectly. The scenes changed at the precise moments the mood of the music changed, complimenting each other perfectly.

So, with a little further work, our film was finished. We test ran it on some friends who had not seen the script and it was well received.

So without further ado, here it is.

Booty Call.

Be nice about it.

We went through a lot.

A LOT.

Production Weekend!

The time was upon us!

The time to film.

It was terrifying, and exhilarating, and also rather hilarious.

We had finally decided on the name Booty Call for our film, after lots of sniggering about bottoms.

Unfortunately, it rained for the majority of the weekend. This caused a lot of swearing; Adam, Josh and Annabel were concerned that the equipment may get ruined, I was concerned that my hair might get ruined (at least one of us has our priorities right). Despite our annoyance at the weather, it actually proved to be an asset in gaining some rather arty shots involving an umbrella and some swans. The swans concerned me. I have never known birds to be so perverted. They took a great interest in looking up my skirt as I put my leg up on a bench to clean my boot.

We also managed to successfully get all our shots we needed in the pharmacy, despite the torrent of customers who would inadvertently get in the way, the manager who would 'watch' us apparently oblivious that he was not helping proceedings by doing this in front of the camera lens, and the inevitable giggling fits at the incontinence pants.

Back at the Harris Palace, we managed to create a rather impressive tracking shot. This was the brainchild of Adam Tyler, who recognised that a skateboard and a pile of heavy books plus camera and tripod equals professionalism. So we piled the books onto the base of the tripod to anchor it to the skateboard, which Josh crawled along the floor with.

You don't get much more professional than that.

The following day, we soldiered on.

The scene that perhaps stood out most in my mind, which is also the scene I most wish to erase from my mind, was the saucy bedroom scene. As if getting dressed up in hold-ups and silky bedroom attire wasn't enough, it wasn't until AFTER the shot of me crawling across the bed towards the boots had been filmed that I was informed by my grinning crew that the footage was X-rated. The things we do for the sake of education!

Towards the end of the day, we were all exhausted and ready for some serious sleep. There was one more scene to shoot. The sliding down the door in floods of tears scene. Of course, as we so desperately wanted to do this shot quickly so we could go to bed, it took the longest of all. We corpsed. Enormously so. To the extent that we had to banish Josh to an upstairs bathroom in order to save our sanity.

But we did it.

Fuelled by vast quantities of chips, we had survived the weekend without resorting to violence.

Preparation

We successfully completely our training to use the posh expensive equipment without breaking anything and having to sell our bodies on the street in order to pay for the damage.

The next important step was to get our locations and props sorted.

Tragically, this meant an entire afternoon dedicated to looking through shoe shops. Sometimes university is really tough.

So Annabel and I heroically rose to the occassion and sifted - very reluctantly, may I add - through the shoe displays in New Look, Russell and Bromley, and many, MANY more. We examined boots of all shapes and sizes and colours, and spoke to various managers about the possibility of using their shops to film in.

The problem seemed to be arising from the fact that the shop managers were reluctant to let us use their shops unless the boots featured were FROM said shop.

This was a problem because all the boots that we could afford without having to sell our bodies on the streets again were, simply, not very nice. Russell and Bromley was clearly out of the question.

Just as we were about to give up hope and go and curl up in a corner somewhere and cry, we stumbled upon a little shop called Moda In Pelle. Inside this shop, we saw something that made out jaws drop and little bits of dribble trickle down our chins.

This is what we saw:

The only problem was that the above glorious boot was worth £99 even in the sale. However, being the crafty businesswomen that we are, Annabel and I had a plan. After the puddles of our drool had been mopped up, we spoke to the manager suggesting that in return for advertising their amazing shop of wonders and boots of holiness on Youtube and amongst all of our student cronies through our film, that perhaps we could have a discount on the boots? It worked. Admittedly, we only managed to get a £10 discount. But I am happy to announce that the most incredible, breathtaking, pant-wettingly stunning, jaw-droppingly gorgeous boots are now mine. MINE. ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lust. SHOE lust.

Well! Things are changing.

Jane has left the group!

We have also consulted Mike, our tutor, mentor, and overall hero, and he has informed us that we can change the script however much we like.

So, in light of the above two things, we decided to go with Adam's idea of the shoe / girl love story.

And thence we marched, notebooks and laptops in hand, to the Harris Palace (aka. where I live), where we sipped tea and feasted on chocolates in the shape of rude parts of the human anatomy. Which, quite frankly, is how every intellectual discussion should be conducted.

We have now worked out the general plot of our film, and have decided on which role is to be allocated to who. I will be producer, actor and musical director, Adam will be the writer and director, Annabel will be editor, anad Josh will take on the role of cameraman. Of course, we will all contribute to all areas of the film-making process, these roles are more to establish a person who will bear the main responsibility of their area.

After our hugely intellectual discussions, Josh and I both turned into Mozzillas. Josh turns out to be an incredible guitarist and his musical genius could prove to be very useful indeed. I showed the others some piano pieces as well, and we decided that the second movement ('adagio un poco mosso') of Beethoven's Emperor Concerto could be a potential piece of music for the film. The mood of the piece seemed to change with the mood of our plot outline and could fit well if we edited it very carefully.

Here is a video of Glenn Gould playing the piece. Obviously, I will play it much better than him. OBVIOUSLY. And I will not make any of the silly facial expressions.

From the depths of my sole.

I actually wrote an entire string of shoe-related puns to begin this entry. I then deleted them. They were atrocious. I am occassionally overcome by a desperate urge to pun on a massive scale. But I have spared you unfortunate readers the distress, and indulged myself only in the title. I am trying to HEEL myself of this affliction. Oops! Sorry. I am trying.

The ideas are now fast-flowing and juicy. We certainly have plenty of potential material.
There are two team members who have come up with substantial ideas for the film. Jane put forward the idea of making a film inspired by Thoroughly Modern Millie. Her idea was to make an adaptation of the title song (as shown below), and shots of the lead actress looking directly into the camera, showing her facial expressions (also as shown below!):

She suggested that we could do it in the style of a silent film with intertitles, but using a modern setting and language. There was a bit of dispute as to whether the language (of the intertitles) should be modern or not, as although it would demonstrate the point of the film, it would not be fitting with a silent film style.

Adam had an entirely different idea, which involved changing the plot of the script to a much greater extent. His idea was that the main character actually falls in love and has a love affair with the shoes, and is then betrayed by them.

Although most of the group members were excited by Adam's idea, we were uncertain as to how far we would be allowed to change the script within the module requirements, and decided to choose Jane's idea.

There was a short discussion about music, where I got into Mozzilla persona, and offered to re-write the theme song of Thoroughly Modern Millie, changing the tune enough to avoid copyright issues, and changing the lyrics to suit our film. We then decided to call it a day, as it had been rather an epic meeting, lasting for a good number of hours, and more tea and iced buns had been consumed than we were comfortable thinking about.

Although we feel we are now at least on track, the future of our film is still LACED with uncertainty...

(Apologies.)

Shoes

I am a girl.

We have been given a script to work on about shoes.

You would think I had reached the pinnacle of academic joy, no?

No.

The script we were given was OK, nothing more, nothing less. The language and plot were rather short of being inspirational, and even a script-writing novice such as myself could recognise that the formatting left a lot to be desired.

However, I can recognise that this script can, and most probably will, act as more of a springboard for further ideas, rather than an instuction manual which we must abide by.

I think perhaps that the best way to view 'What would you do for a pair of shoes?' is to look at all the things that need to be done to it to make it into something good. I feel that my fim-making group is strong and dynamic, and that between us we will create something out of this script that will put the original to shame.

I have also done a little research on the script. It was written by a previous 2nd year film student, and the finished result is on Youtube:

I thought the finished product was good, but not special. There are some good shots, but nothing that makes me gasp in awe.

Although I was, at first, concerned about the script we have been given, it has inspired me to do a better job - it has triggered my artistic competitive streak... which should be a good thing... provided it doesn't lead to arguments amongst the group!

I am well and truly ready to get my teeth into rewriting this script and making a great film!

Felix's Machines

Felix's Machines sent little shivers through my body, as though the very piano hammers in the film were plunking out their little tune on my own spine.

I suppose that the only way to categorise this film would be to describe it as a "music video", although there are elements to the documentary about it too; and it is also extremely theatrical.

This film was made by Tom Mansfield when he heard about a machine Felix Thorn had created in his bedroom that produced incredible percussive music. Shot from a huge variety of angles, it shows Felix's machine from every desirable perspective, really exploiting the intricacies of the sounds and mechanisms.

As the music progresses, the camera focuses in on close-up shots of all the different parts of the machine, and it is not until the end that we see Felix's machine as a whole.

I found this film completely mesmerising, and I know that this is not only because of the genius of Felix himself and his machine - the way this film has been made and put together is fantastic in its own right.

The Trampolinist

"This is a film that illustrates perfectly the simple pleasure of following ones [sic] nature, the viewer endeared to the protagonist by his refusal to give in to the demands expected of him by his father," states someone called Hamilton Patel who has left a comment about The Trampolinist on the BBC website.

This seems like quite an in-depth comment on a film that, to me, consists of nothing more than 51 seconds of pure and utter pointlessness.

Despite this complete pointlessness, I could not help but smile when I watched it. There is something about this film that is rather endearing. And I did find myself uttering a breathy little snigger towards the end.

However, I can almost guarantee that the second time you watch it, it will only annoy you.

the trampolinist

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Reality | Funny Animations

Pin Point

This is one of the most terrifying things I have seen in my life.

James Kim goes down a similar route with Pin Point as Hayao Miyazaki does with his masterpiece, Spirited Away. Both feature a young girl as the main protagonist, who is struggling to escape from her disturbing surroundings.

Spirited Away has been classified as a PG. I could only just cope with watching it... and I am 22. Pin Point travels to whole new realms of freaky.

It opens with the little orphan at the graveside of what we can safely assume to be a friend, and we quickly discover that the orphanage caretaker has been poisoning and killing children. As the film progresses, the subject matter becomes more and more sinister.

Spirited Away was a film that I could relate to, as it tapped into the fears and nightmares I had as a child without crossing any lines. It was also beautiful in many ways, from its themes to its animation.

Pin Point did not have any of these redeeming features. The animation was all right, but certainly nothing special, or even good. The music worked, but was nothing original. But worst of all, the plot appeared to have no point.

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for ambiguity in films and subject matter to make the audience think. But unless the message of this film is "let's combat child abuse through Voodoo magic", then there is no message. And if there is no message, then this is a film about child abuse for nothing more than entertainment's sake.

Is it just me, or is that a little unnerving?

View Pin Point here.

L. A. Noir

Wow.

This film is the exact opposite to Bullet Proof Vest, yet it is just as good - if not, better. Where Bullet Proof Vest was brilliant in its simplicity, this is brilliant in its complexity. L. A. Noir takes a very simple idea and turns it into something extremely powerful through artistic and detailed filming and editing.

I can understand how some critics may jump the gun with this film and state that it is cliched; the swirling cigarette smoke, the struggling writer at his typewriter in his grotty apartment, and the mysterious, seductive woman have all been used time and time again.

But take another look at the title: "L. A. Noir." The very title sets this film up to be modelled on the conventions of 1940s film noir, and without these things it would not be noir at all.

However, L. A. Noir is more than just a simple demonstration of film noir effects. It used them to create something modern and beautiful. The whole point of this film - at least in my interpretation of it - is to take an idea of a film genre that people are familiar with, and turn it into something new. Conrad Jackson has taken film noir as a stylistic entity and turned it into an art form.

Even the soundtrack is perfect. It is so subtle you hardly notice it is there - just sitting there in the background, pulsing out mood.

This film is absolutely stunning - beautifully lit, beautifully shot, beautifully cast, and beautifully edited, it is a perfectly rounded nugget of viewing pleasure, and it punches something powerful right into the stomach.

View L. A. Noir here.

House of Elegance

House of Elegance is a documentary filmed in a ladies' hairdressers in Austin, Texas.

This is another example of shoddy camerawork. Like Dry Clean Only, it is screaming out to me "Give me a tripod! For the love of god, someone give me a tripod!", and is so overexposed in places that I had to whip out my sunglasses.

Despite all this, I could not help but smile as I watched it. This is the most endearing of the films I have discussed so far, and beautifully demonstrates the bond between women as they have their hair cut and styled. It shows us how a trip to the hairdresser's is about so much more than hair. It's about the people and the gossip.

The highlight of this film is the look on one lady's face as she realises that her hair has been dyed "yellowish green". There is another lady who explains how she travels for ten hours from Oklahoma to have her hair seen to at the House of Elegance. Having seen this film, I would happily travel for ten days from my house in Bath, England to have my hair done there. So long as they had learned from the yellowish green mishap.

As much as this film made me smile by tapping right into my girlie side, I can't help but think that this was due almost entirely to the ladies featured rather than the work of the filmmakers. Amy Bench, who filmed and edited this, has apparently won numerous awards for this work. Good for her. Though I'm not sure why.

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Dry Clean Only

This film gives me hope.

It reassures me that myself and the others in my group are, in fact, bloody good film makers. If this can be one of the 11 winners of the Independent Lens Online Shorts Festival, then surely our film - whatever it may be - will be capable of walking away with the grand prize.

The opening is not too bad. It begins with a shot of the outside of a dry cleaners', with a bored worker slumped over the work-top reading. Even the acting seems OK to begin with.

After a brief conversation with the blood-spattered couple, the film jumps to a documentary-section, which is the part I enjoyed the most. If the entire film had gone down this route, then I might have had some more complimentary things to say about it. Unfortunately, this section is a one-off, and bears absolutely no significance to the rest of the action whatsoever. In my opinion, it does not work to break up a film of naturalistic style with a section of documentary and then not bring it back later on as a recurring theme - is the protagonist aware of us as an audience or not? J. P. Chan cannot seem to make up his mind.

As the film progresses, the acting becomes more and more abysmal, and the pauses between dialogue become longer and more unnecessary.

This film is described by its makers as a "comedy". The documentary section is certainly comical ("Is there a way to get rid of the stains but keep the smell...?"), but the rest is simply uncomfortable and contains no humour at all.

The camera-work also left a lot to be desired. It was overexposed in most places, and tops of heads were constantly cut off. I am overcome with a desire to buy the cameraman a tripod for his birthday.

This is a perfect example of a film that takes itself much to seriously. The script in the second half tries to be deep and meaningful, and fails. The random black-and-white shots try to give an artistic aspect to the film, and fail. I don't understand the significance of the ending at all. I don't know how to put this any other way: I don't get it.